Dont Be Afraid To Be Real
If you were to ask a stranger that just met me what I was like, they would likely say a little quiet, a little shy. It always bothered me when people would describe me as shy because I totally didn't see myself as that way-well not my real self! The funny thing about this is, I AM shy with strangers but why?? This is something I have been really trying to overcome the past year or so.
This little journey all started from a conversation my husband and I were having. He asked why I am so gaurded with people I don't know? He said when he has a friend or work associate that he has talked to about me and just how fun and nice and clever I am, he is excited for them to meet me. He WANTS to introduce me to them because he thinks I'm pretty awesome and he wants others to know that too (he's so sweet isn't he?) But he said when that introduction happens, I don't say much, I don't reach out and make conversation, I sort of hide behind him and it almost seems like I can't wait to get out of the situation. So of course, that makes him a little disappointed because people don't get to know the Holly that he knows.
I think there's some people that can easily be themselves around anyone at anytime. Yet, I still think most of us have at least one person that we are the deepest and truest form of ourself around that no one else gets to see. With me, that is my husband (no surprise there!) I have no reservations when it comes to him. No filter, no second-guessing, no shame haha. I really think it's okay to be your 100% self with one or two select people. But I think there's some perks to opening yourself up to those around you. There's also some pitfalls that come from not doing so. I know there are a ton of opportunities I have missed, friendships that weren't formed, dates and jobs I didn't get, and fun experiences I held myself from because I just couldn't let go and be myself!
I am generally a fearful person, of a lot of things. Even when I am able to play it off, being in a new place with new people scares the shit out me. I get anxiety and I don't know how to not be awkward! This also applies to singing. I love singing and don't mind doing it in front of family and friends, but a stranger or a crowd? Um no. Why? Why am I so afraid to be vulnerable and fearless? Why do I put so much concern and weight on how other people view me and judge me? I mean the worst that could happen is someone just not liking me or clicking with my personality (gasp!!) Reality check: not everyone is going to like you and want to be your friend and that's NORMAL.
It's taken me a long time (and I'm still working on it) to just accept the fact that by being myself I'm going to naturally turn people away because we simply don't click BUT I'm also going to naturally bring more people in who are similar to me and want to be around me! Have you heard the phrase, "your vibe attracts your tribe?" Well it's true! Each one of us has something incredibly important and unique to offer others, and there's no reason why we should be afraid to offer that! In fact, it's almost a disservice and a personal failure to ourselves and those around us to NOT fully give yourself to others without "playing the game" or putting on a act, or pretending to be cool or chic or funny or whatever it is that you THINK you ought to be. Just be what God made you!!
So the moral of the story is I want to start being real. I don't want to hide anymore and hold myself back for fear of rejection. I know I have a lot to offer to the world and a lot of opportunities I can take advantage of. Also, my business literally depends on me putting myself out there and being brave! So how have I been working on this? Well for starters, when I meet new people, I try to act as though I already know them, like they're a friend. This helps a lot for me to have a more natural disposition and conversation. I have also started to seek out books and podcasts to help me break away from fear of rejection (so yes "self-help" books haha) And this is partly why I started a blog so I can become more transparent and more comfortable with just being me and sharing my thoughts and opinions. ><Holly><
Do you have an awesome book that you love that helps you break free from fear? Email me about it! I'd love any suggestions you have on the subject.